I’m Unemployed… Help !!!

Alhamdulillah. Eventually, I finished up my studies. Fuhh… I’m relieved. Lama betul aku studies. Aku duduk dekat university je dah 4 tahun. Lepas tu, aku buat matrikulasi je, 2 tahun. Akhirnya habis jugak aku belajar. Sekang ni, aku unemployed. Fuhhh… susah betol nak carik keje sekarang ni. Tambah2 time ekonomi tgh gawat ni. Ade yang kene buang, ade yang kene suspend. Orang yang macam aku ni pulak… tengah terhegeh2 nak carik keje. Susah jugak. Buat masa ni dah dekat 2 minggu duduk rumah. Aku habis Finale paper je ari tu 18 hb 4. Kuar result 28 hb 4. Campur ari ni dekat2 nak 2 minggu la kan. Risau betol aku duduk rumah lelame ni. Bukan tak suka nak duduk rumah, tapi aku takot di bebel oleh mak aku. Even mak aku tak pernah cakap lagi buat sementara ni, tapi silap2 ari bulan, maun jugak terkeluar dari mulut dia. Aduh… aku tak suka lah nak duduk rumah makan tido je, tapi nak buat camne. Dekat 5 – 6 company jugak, resume aku hantar. Tapi, satu pun tak de lagi yang reply. Risau gak ni. Aku jugak ader apply keje kat Giant depan rumah aku ni, jadi part time cashier, tapi, tak de pulak fon call yang aku terima. Risau aku. Aku bukannya apa cepat2 nak carik keje ni, aku tak sabo2 nak ulur2 kat mak aku. Yerla, banyak dah duit mak aku habis anta aku gi studies, mesti lah aku nak ulur2 kat dia. Tak banyak, sikit pun tak apa. Aku tau, mak aku bukannya hingin sangat duit aku, tapi hati seorang ibu ni nak kena jaga jugak. Itu lah tanda budi bahasa kita pada dia. Aku tau even mak aku tak minta, dia just nak tengok, anak dia ni ade budi bahasa ke tak ngan dia. Tak banyak pun kita bagi, at least dia happy jugak. Itu lah vision aku yang utama sekali. Bila aku dah keje , even tak bagi banyak pun, sikit pun tak apa. Bila gaji dah banyak, baru ulur banyak sikit. Insya Allah… aku harap sangat aku dapat keje secepat mungkin. Korang semua, kalau korang ade jawatan kosong kat tempat keje korang, riki2 kan lah untuk aku eh…Doakan untuk aku eh… Onegaishimasu…

Give me the title

Have you ever imagine that one day, our healthy body will stop function properly and even to move our single finger need an aid? Our main organ especially our heart will stop its beating. Have you ever imagine these kinds of things will happen? Perhaps we never think about it. But, believe me; it will happen to us without realizing it. During that time, our world will be become dark, full of regret, and we might think that death is the only solution. Ikke..

Try to lean back, relax and start thinking. First, try to think about our main organ, heart. Try to hear our heart beat. When we are in a state of cool, relax, we will hear our heart beat is beating. Sometimes it is fast, and sometimes it is slow. But, it depends on our situation during that time. Then, start thinking deeply as seem as you go inside directly to our heart. Place yourself in your own heart. We might think that there is nothing happen to our heart as long as it’s beating. But, it is wrong. Heart is the sensitive organ as its function to pump on our blood in and out in the body system. We never know either our heart functions in its normal way of beating or not because it is deep inside in our body with its complex structure. So, start to watch out your diet and see your doctor if you feel any pain. It is because there will be something wrong with your heart. We cannot take it easy. Once your heart is stop beating, you will never turn back to this world.

Now, how about our body? Sometimes people do not appreciate whatever they have. Have you ever think if Allah takes back what He gives to us? Once we can walk, we cannot walk. Once we can run, we cannot run anymore. Once we can write and read, we can’t do it anymore. Have you ever think about that? Human beings never appreciate what they have. They are always forgetting what they had. Believe me, when we cannot move out our body anymore, just lying on bed with counting our own days, we will start to realize that we miss what we had. But, it’s too late to regret. You cannot change it. As the moral of the story, do whatever you want and appreciate whatever you have.

Tomodachi

I am waiting for you

To talk about something

It’s long time

We have never met

This is a day

We can talk a lot

I prepared myself

To see you here

Unfortunately, you broken our promise

I don’t mind

But, I hate to wait

Oh please … come here right now

I saw your face

All the sweet memories came along with you

Ne tomodachi san, I want to laugh

You glare at me and asked me why

I can’t stop laughing

Because of the sweet memories of us

All the funniest thing came from you

You are the funniest tomadachi of mine that I have ever met

Ne tomodachi san, let us promise again

Don’t make me wait

Promise is a promise

Don’t break it

Because I hate to wait

Come along tomodachi san

We are the best friend

Copyright Amane Aizawa 2009

Memo

Stars shinning brightly that night

I look at the shinning stars

I start remembered everything

Everything came to my mind

I close my eyes

My feet step back from the window

Hiding myself from looking at it

I don’t want to remember everything

My heart full of pain

After all nobody knows it

The painful memories stabbed my heart

Oh … it’s painful

I hide myself from everyone

No one knows who I am

I am a lonely person

Because of the painful memory

Someday, I wish I could forget it

But, oh damn

When it comes, it’s hurt

Oh please … I want to forget the painful memories

Copyright Amane Aizawa 2009

HITORI

Bila semua orang syok2 kemas barang nak balik bercuti, aku tengok je. Aku nak kemas apa? Lastly, aku pun buat2 kemas jugak. Kemas locker, kemas meja study, kemas katil. Best nye dapat balik rumah. Bila ditanya, “ko balik bila?”, jawapan aku dah sure nye, ”aku pun tak tau nak balik bila, esok lusa aku balikla”. I’m alone. I have no one in my life. Even ada pun, aku tetap rasa macam tak de. Bila orang balik bercuti, aku lepak sorang2 kat hostel. Kalau aku rasa bosan, aku keluar pegi shopping, window shopping. Tak de sapa pun yang tau aku sebenarnya, kesunyian. I’m alone. Dari segi luaran, semua orang tengok aku happy go lucky je, tak de masalah langsung dalam hidup. Orang yang tak de masalah dari segi study ataupun family. Tapi, hakikatnya, salah. Aku adalah orang yang bermasalah. Banyak sangat masalah. Sampai aku lari dari masalah. Aku ada family ke? Ya, aku memang ada family. Tapi, aku rasa aku tak pernah di appreciate oleh family aku sendiri. Parents aku tak pernah bangga dengan apa yang aku buat. Aku hanyalah orang yang di perlukan untuk menyelesaikan masalah. Huh… kekadang aku rasa bosannya hidup. Bila cuti kali ni, aku tak nak balik. Aku nak cari peaceful dalam soul aku. Aku nak nilai diri aku. Apa value yang aku ada. Aku selalu doa lepas solat supaya aku dapat kerja yang halal lepas aku grad. Aku jugak mintak supaya aku dapat kerja yang jauh dari family aku. Bukan aku benci family aku, tapi aku cuma nak they all realize someone’s importance when I gone from their life. Mungkin orang akan cakap, tak baikknya aku ni. Aku dah malas nak amik tau apa orang cakap. Sekarang, aku nak buat apa yang aku rasa nak buat. Mungkin jugak the exactly word yang sesuai nak express keadaan aku sekarang – Revolution. Ja’.

SUKI DA YO

People only realize someone’s importance when they are gone. Do you guys agree with me? Believe me. I have experienced it 9 years ago. When he was around, I don’t care about him. But, when he was gone, disappear from my eyes and my life, I’m hurt. I felt half of my soul was gone too. But, as people said, life must go on whatever happens to our life. Tapi, satu je aku rasa ralat sangat, sebab aku tak sempat nak ucap suki da yo. Now, even he is not around, I still want to say that. So, to you guys, express to your important one that you love them or anything that you want to say. At least, they will know that they are mean to you. Kalaulah aku boleh putar balik masa dan waktu, I’ll definitely say it to him. “Suki da yo”.